Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] All right, welcome, everybody.
[00:00:05] So good to be together.
[00:00:07] This is a hard session for many because it's after lunch, so put up your hand. Honesty here. Full transparency. Who's sleepy? Anyone in the room? Oh, why didn't you appear, Pastor Robbie? Be strong. Be strong, right? No. We're so glad to be together. And I know that you're all going to lean in, and we're going to lean in together to what God has for us in this session, what every husband must be. I got to start before I pray. Got to start by saying I'm not an expert in any way here, but we're going to draw some truth from God's word and trust that the Lord is going to use it in our lives as he's using it in my life and our marriage, and that he'll strengthen all of us. Some of you are. Many of you are married, some of you are not. Wherever you are, God's going to be preparing us for what he has for us going forward. So I'm going to ask that you lean in, resist the temptation to doze off. If your brother next to you is dozing off, give him a good elbow, and we'll. We'll hang in there together for the next 45 minutes or so. All right, why don't we do this? I'm going to start by praying.
[00:01:11] If I didn't introduce myself already, Jason Matta from Hope Church, Toronto west, privileged to be the lead pastor there. We planted that church 10 years ago and love to see God continue to work over 10 years, and he'll do so again here in this place today. Amen.
[00:01:27] All right, let's pray together. Father in heaven, we are very, very thankful for what we get to be a part of this weekend. We're very, very grateful and fully aware of the abundant grace that you've poured out upon us to be here, to sit under such good teaching in the main sessions, to worship you together as men. And I pray, Lord, in the name of Jesus, for this time.
[00:01:50] Holy Spirit, be our teacher. We pray that your word would be the loud voice in our lives. And we pray for marriages represented in this room. We pray for marriages that will be entered into in the future. We pray for those that are struggling, those that are weary, those that are confused.
[00:02:09] Give us what we need today. And I pray for your help. In Jesus name, we pray. If you agree, you can say amen. Amen. Amen. All right, I'm going to start with a quote from an author named Jeffrey Johnson. This is what he said.
[00:02:25] He said the Family, as God has designed it, is the backbone of society.
[00:02:34] How is the next generation to be properly raised up in maturity?
[00:02:39] How will society function without responsible, disciplined, educated citizens?
[00:02:46] It is the family that God has designed to raise up, discipline and educate the preceding generations of individuals. Okay, very important.
[00:02:58] I'm going to be giving you a bit of an apologetic first here, why we're doing a session like this. Christian sociologist George Gilder wrote this along the same lines, but even more pointedly.
[00:03:10] He said the condition of marriage and family in any given society.
[00:03:15] Listen. Describes the condition of the entire society.
[00:03:21] If the family is troubled, then society is troubled.
[00:03:27] Encouraging and building up the God ordained institution of marriage and family is therefore a critical to society.
[00:03:39] That's why a look at the history of civilizations only confirms that the demise of the family always leads to the demise of societies and civilizations. One article from 2011 that summarizes the work of university scholars wrote this. Listen.
[00:04:00] With single parent families on the rise of a lower birth rate and more people either putting off marriage or deciding not to marry at all, some wonder what impact those trends will have on society.
[00:04:16] Civilizations in the past have gone through a similar demise of the family right before collapsing.
[00:04:27] So I just want to start by asking this question.
[00:04:30] Why do we need a workshop on the biblical roles of a husband?
[00:04:36] Well, this is why, because God has designed the family as the foundational institution of society.
[00:04:43] And God has designed marriage as the fundamental institution of the family.
[00:04:49] And so as marriages go, families go. And as families go, societies go. Now let me rewind that to get a little bit more specific for our purposes today.
[00:05:01] As husbands go, marriages go.
[00:05:05] And as marriages go, families go. And as families go, societies go. Therefore, understanding God's design for husbands and men is foundational and has massive implications not only for our lives and our marriages, but but for the greater society. Let me just show you this quickly from God's word. Genesis 1:27 28 says this.
[00:05:33] So God created man in his own image.
[00:05:36] In the image of God he created him.
[00:05:39] Male and female, he created them. This is God's design from the beginning. And God blessed them. And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens, and over every living thing that moves on the earth. So I just want to reinforce some of the things that I just started with from articles from history. The word of God is clear that the foundational purpose for men and women in marriage stated in Genesis 1:27 28 to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth with image bearers of God. That purpose depends on God's creation of men as male, women as female, and the uniting of the two in a covenant of marriage. Okay?
[00:06:32] And so if God has placed marriage at the very foundation of his purposes for the flourishing of human civilizations, then I think we'd all agree that understanding the biblical role of a husband in marriage is absolutely critical and crucial. But there's another thing I want you to see.
[00:06:54] There's another reason with huge implications for why we should rightly understand the biblical role of husbands.
[00:07:03] And it's because the New Testament teaches us that marriage not only functions as the foundational institution of human civilizations, as seen in Genesis 1:28, but marriage from the beginning. Listen. Was designed by God to illustrate the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
[00:07:25] Okay? John Piper wrote this. He wrote, the creation of human beings as male and female provides the necessary framework in creation for the ordinance of marriage.
[00:07:38] You could not have marriage without male and female. Listen to what he says now.
[00:07:43] He says, and the meaning of marriage is not known in its essence or fullness until we see it as a parable of Christ's relationship to the church.
[00:07:58] Gonna show you from Scripture really quickly, and then we're gonna go on. On the screen for you. Ephesians 5:22 to 30 is on the screen. I'm gonna read a few more verses after that. But the apostle Paul makes this connection when he writes this. Listen.
[00:08:13] Husbands, love your wives.
[00:08:17] Notice, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and. And without blemish. Notice this. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
[00:08:47] He who loves his wife, loves himself.
[00:08:50] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. Here it is again. Just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. Notice now the connection and the grounding of all of this in creation. It's not on the screen, but I'm going to read this. Therefore, Paul now roots all of this back to creation. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. And then he says in verse 33, this mystery is profound.
[00:09:22] And I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.
[00:09:25] However, let every One of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see to it that she respects her husband. This can be a whole sermon. This can be a whole series of sermons right from this text. But. But what I want you to see is this. Why do we need a workshop on the biblical role of husbands? Not only because marriage is the foundational institution within the family, which is the foundational institution of society, but the husband's role is critical in marriage. And marriage is designed to picture something.
[00:09:59] Marriage is designed with massive implications to show something, to show the gospel. So that Paul is saying that in marriage from the beginning, it points to a profound mystery.
[00:10:11] He's saying the marriage from the beginning was not ultimately about our happiness or our feelings, but rather something much deeper.
[00:10:19] Marriage from the beginning is about the revelation, the showing, the illustration of a divine mystery. What is the mystery?
[00:10:28] Well, marriage from the beginning was designed to reveal the mystery of the gospel, of. Of Jesus Christ.
[00:10:37] So as husbands love their wives sacrificially, Paul says this illustrates to the world, this shows the world something evangelistic. There's a great and deep purpose in marriage when a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church.
[00:10:52] The marriage demonstrates and dramatizes and shows the world the love of Jesus Christ.
[00:11:00] And in the same way as wives submit to their husbands willingly, Paul says this illustrates to the world the trustworthiness of our Savior and the gospel is revealed to a dying world. And so I hope you're seeing the implications of what we're talking about today.
[00:11:18] Not only is a biblical understanding of the role of husbands crucial because marriage is the foundational institution of. Of society, but a biblical understanding of the role of husbands is crucial because of its eternal implications, because of what marriage is designed by God to show, to dramatize, to demonstrate, to symbolize, to illustrate. From the beginning, God had a great purpose for marriage. And it goes far more than just finding a way in this workshop to make my wife happier.
[00:11:54] It goes far deeper than finding a way to just live at peace or just do a little bit better for us as men to grasp God's design for marriage, and God's design for husbands more specifically here today, means that we understand the significance and the urgency upon the state of our society and our world and upon the evangelistic impact that the church can have in the world through marriage.
[00:12:25] So why do we need a workshop on the biblical roles of a husband?
[00:12:32] Because the implications of our marriages are huge.
[00:12:38] Okay, so some of us in this room are married.
[00:12:44] Others of us may not be.
[00:12:47] Some of us have known in their marriage, a very difficult marriage.
[00:12:54] Others of us have had perhaps an easier time.
[00:12:59] Some of us have disciplined ourselves to be formed by the word of God in this regard. Others of us in this room, if we're honest, we're more confused, we're unsure about who we are and what we should be doing and what we should be as husbands.
[00:13:19] Here's what I want to say to all of us in this room, regardless of where we come from and as we continue in this workshop, whatever your specific experience is, I believe, as was alluded to this morning, that the greatest cultural issue of our day is the issue of manhood, womanhood, gender, sexuality, and marriage.
[00:13:42] And I believe that the devil has clearly targeted this issue and has his focal point as men and husbands. Because men, the devil knows if he can get the men, he can get the marriage. If he can get the marriage, he can get the family. If he can get the family, he can get that entire civilization. And the influence and. And the impact of the gospel will be extremely weakened.
[00:14:12] And so what we're doing here today is very important.
[00:14:16] And therefore, we must pursue biblical clarity about what every husband must be.
[00:14:25] So if you're ready to dig in a little bit more, I encourage you to take a Bible and open it to Genesis, chapter.
[00:14:36] Genesis, chapter two. We're going to go back to the beginning again. This workshop is titled what every Husband must Be. And in the day that we live in of mass confusion even in the church, we cannot afford to be confused about what it is we must be as husbands and what it is we must be doing as husbands.
[00:14:59] And God's word is in no way unclear about this. So we're going back to the foundations, to the very beginning, to see God's Design. Genesis, chapter 2. We're going to read verses 7 to 8 and then jump to verse 15, down to 20 says this. Genesis, chapter 2, starting from verse 7, says, Then the Lord God formed the man of the dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.
[00:15:32] Notice the Lord God planted a garden in Eden in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.
[00:15:42] Jump down to verse 15.
[00:15:45] The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work and keep it.
[00:15:51] And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, you may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die. Verse 18. Then the Lord God said, it Is not good that the man should be alone.
[00:16:09] I will make him a helper fit for him.
[00:16:13] Now, out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them.
[00:16:23] And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
[00:16:29] The man gave names to all the livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper fit for him. Okay, I'm in a series in our church right now going through the book of Genesis, and we're unpacking the book of Genesis verse by verse. I'm just going to tell you. I don't have time in this workshop to tell you all the treasures that are in these verses, but I'm going to give you a few things that I believe will help us understand what we are to be as husbands according to God's design and what we are to be doing according to God's design. So let's start with this. What every husband should be. This will come up on the screen. Number one, make no mistake about this. A leader.
[00:17:17] A leader. Okay. Giving you a bit of context just in case this is new to you. God creates all things. As we've just read a bit of that. He creates human beings, male and female, as the pinnacle of his creation, the crowning glory of his creation.
[00:17:31] And before he creates the woman, you need to understand that God begins with the man. And Genesis 2 tells us that he placed the man in a garden in Eden. And it's here we begin to see something of God's intentional design for the man, what biblical manhood is really about, what it means to be a husband.
[00:17:56] Notice verse 19 and 20 again in your Bibles. And then we're going to draw the truth from these verses. It says again now, out of the ground, the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens. Watch this.
[00:18:08] What did God do? And he brought them to the man to see what he would call them.
[00:18:14] And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.
[00:18:18] The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the heavens, and to the beasts of the field. This is important.
[00:18:27] Something we could read over and not understand the implications of. Very important for us to understand that in the ancient near east, the act of naming was associated with kingly rule and authority.
[00:18:42] In Genesis 1, Moses, the writer of Genesis, has already established God as sovereign king, and he depicts God as the authoritative king over all his creation. And the way he depicts him this way is by depicting him as a God who is speaking and he's making and he's calling, and he's naming all the elements of his creation. And this was written by Moses very intentionally to combat all the creation myths of the ancient near east, to convey to the people of Israel the authority of the God of Israel, the authority and the rule of Yahweh over all the false gods of the pagan nation. So here in Genesis chapter two, Moses does something similar as he speaks to us of the design of men.
[00:19:38] The man that is made in the image of God is seen here to be functioning as God's vice regent.
[00:19:46] The man is ruling in the garden. He's organizing. He's naming the animals one by one. And before God gives the good gift of the woman. This naming of the animals demonstrates that God has established Adam in the garden as the leader.
[00:20:08] So there's a leadership role.
[00:20:11] There is an authority, there is a headship that's woven into the design of God for men and husbands. And this is seen in the naming of the animals. That's the first thing, really briefly, that you need to see. Men, we are designed by God to lead husbands. What are we? We are, by design, leaders. Okay, but there's something else.
[00:20:37] Adam's leadership is also clearly seen later in Genesis chapter three, as Adam is found to be the one who bears primary responsibility and accountability for what takes place in the garden.
[00:20:55] Very significant to note that in Genesis 3:9, after the serpent deceived the woman, the Bible says that God called out to the man, okay, something tragic has happened. They disobeyed God. The serpent deceives the woman. She gives the fruit to her husband. He eats of it.
[00:21:17] She was the one who was deceived first. But God comes. And when he comes, who is he looking for? He's looking for the man.
[00:21:26] He's looking for Adam. Why? Why? Because it was Adam's responsibility to guard the garden.
[00:21:35] It was Adam who bore the primary responsibility as the leader in the garden. Therefore, it was the man who was held to account even though Eve was deceived first. Very, very important. And so what we have here in Genesis 2 and 3 is something of the way God has designed men. And this, brothers, is very countercultural.
[00:21:58] It's a countercultural message these days.
[00:22:01] Try to go to your workplace and tell people that the Bible says men are called to lead. See what kind of response you get.
[00:22:09] Talk to people in politics, in government, talk about men are designed to lead, and see what kind of response you'll get. This is fundamental, though, according to God's word. And what we want today is God's word. Amen. What we want is God's design.
[00:22:25] We don't want to capitulate to what the culture says is right. We want to immerse ourselves in what God says is right. And so this is fundamental to the role of husbands that woven into the fabric of who a husband is. What a husband is, is leadership. And this leadership, this design, if you haven't already noticed, is under attack that sin has perverted this.
[00:22:52] And it's nothing new.
[00:22:54] Sin has perverted this from the beginning in many different ways.
[00:23:01] For example, sometimes we have a tendency as men to confuse leadership with control or domination.
[00:23:13] Leadership is not the same as control. In fact, Ephesians 5, the verse we had on the screen, shows us what kind of leaders we need to be. We need to be leaders like Christ.
[00:23:24] And that means we lead with love, we lead with sacrifice, we lead with serving. We lead just like Christ led. Christ doesn't dominate and control and coerce. Christ loves as a sacrificial leader.
[00:23:39] But we confuse leadership with control and domination.
[00:23:45] Other ways that sin has perverted leadership, the culture has totally obliterated the lines and the distinctions between men and women.
[00:23:54] This is. If your mind is not blown by this, try not to get too used to the messages you're hearing out there. You should see how the lines between men and women are being blurred and obliterated. And you should be taken back and shocked.
[00:24:10] Don't get accustomed to hearing these messages. It's a shock how the culture has obliterated the lines of distinction between men and women.
[00:24:20] So much so that so many of us feel like it's wrong to lead.
[00:24:26] It's just one way that sin has perverted God's design for leadership in men. Somehow we feel like our leadership is demeaning to a woman.
[00:24:38] But this is sin's perversion of God's design.
[00:24:43] Remember Ephesians 5, we don't have to apologize for leadership. We do have to look to the Bible, though, and gain our instruction in how to lead from Jesus Christ.
[00:24:56] He lays down his life, he serves, he washes feet, he guides, he shepherds, he comes along.
[00:25:05] He is the leader we look to.
[00:25:08] The overpowering narrative of our culture is that the authority is inherently evil.
[00:25:14] That's another way sin is just perverting God's design.
[00:25:18] Any form of authority in our culture these days is viewed as evil. Any authority, not just the authority of a husband, in the authority, submission dynamic of husband and wife. But the authority of a pastor or an elder is viewed as wrong. The authority of some superior at work is viewed as wrong. Everyone's viewing this authority submission dynamic as if it's inherently wrong. And while there are abuses of authority, that does not mean the authority submission dynamic in itself is wrong. It is not wrong. It is part of God's beautiful design.
[00:25:53] And as husbands, God has given this to us to lead.
[00:25:59] And so I told you just a few moments ago that I'm preaching through the book of Genesis in our church. And it started to amaze me how many young men were coming to me when I say things like this that in my mind are pretty basic. But they would come to me and they'd say, thank you for clarifying my role to lead. And to lead like Christ. I didn't know that.
[00:26:21] And some of you may be saying, well, I knew about that. I don't know why this is new to so many people, but when I see young men asking that question, I understand it.
[00:26:30] Because we are immersed in a culture that is shouting these messages to us.
[00:26:38] So much so that young men in our churches and you young men here, we need to disciple you. We need to be all discipled in a thoroughly biblical worldview, because we're bombarded by all kinds of worldviews, and they're the dominant worldview these days, the biblical worldview, The Christian ethic is not the dominant worldview or ethic these days. No, it's the minority.
[00:27:00] And so when I see young men come to me and say, man, I didn't know that God has designed me to lead, I'm always apologizing for this instinct to lead.
[00:27:11] That's one reason why we have to be forming our worldview in light of the Scriptures. And don't take for granted that everything you're hearing is facilitating or forming a biblical worldview. It's actually the opposite, and it impacts everything.
[00:27:28] And maybe for some of you, your worldview has been more dominated by the cultural narratives of our time, and it's impacted your marriage or your family.
[00:27:43] God has called husbands to lead Christlike leadership, leading the way in God's word in your home with your wife, leading the way in prayer at home with your wife and in your church, leading the way in what it looks like to serve the Lord Jesus in your church and in your community, leading the way with your children and help forming a worldview that says, christ is Lord, Christ is my Master, I bow down to Christ leadership in every facet of your life. If something Is not going right in your home. I would humbly commend this to you.
[00:28:27] You are to be held to account.
[00:28:30] I am to be held to account.
[00:28:32] If my family doesn't like to come to church on time, then I need to pay attention to how I'm forming this atmosphere that we need to go to church on time. I'm the leader.
[00:28:45] And some of you say, well, I don't know about that. You don't know my wife. She takes a long time. Nothing I can do can make her come out of the house on time. No, but you gotta shut shepherd. You gotta love, you gotta lead. You gotta be patient. If you're walking in 15 minutes late to service as a pastor, I'm looking at the dad. I'm not looking at the mom. The wife saying, oh, you did. You took too long to do your hair. That's not my concern. I'm looking at the dad. What are you doing to form a culture that we go to church on time?
[00:29:13] Well, the prayer meeting is a big deal in our church, for example. It's a big deal in our church. I think it needs to be a big deal in every church. We say at our church, the prayer meeting is the most important meeting in our church. And I look to the dads, I look to the fathers. Are you leading the way in prayer?
[00:29:30] Are you bringing your family to the prayer meeting? Are you giving them a sense of understanding and acknowledgement of the urgency of the mission that God has given us, that we're not gonna fall asleep anymore? We're not just gonna just let the culture lull us to sleep? We have a mission. We have a task. Our marriage is here to glorify God, to project to the world a beautiful gospel that God wants to get out there. And we have a powerful savior and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit to use us. If we would just come and call on his name together. Who's going to lead the way?
[00:30:02] Men have got to lead the way. The husband's got to lead the way. We are leaders, man. Leaders.
[00:30:08] What is a husband?
[00:30:09] What every husband must be?
[00:30:12] A leader. A leader. Take that point and apply it to your heart. And I'll trust the Holy Spirit will apply it to your heart in your particular circumstance, in your marriage, in your family, wherever you are, that the Lord would impress this on your heart.
[00:30:25] You are designed to lead.
[00:30:29] So let's take up the mantle that God has given us to lead. All right, what every husband must be, not only a leader.
[00:30:37] Secondly, what every husband must be. Note this.
[00:30:41] A Provider.
[00:30:43] A provider. Okay, I want you to look at verse 15 of Genesis chapter 2.
[00:30:49] It says, the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden. Notice.
[00:30:58] To work it and keep it.
[00:31:04] So I want you to notice that God put Adam in the garden and gave him the specific task of working it and keeping it. And while Eve will have a crucial and indispensable role in this task, Adam was given primary responsibility for the work.
[00:31:28] In Genesis chapter three, when we see the curse of sin and all its implications on the man and the woman, it's important for us to note that it was the woman's sphere of childbearing that was impacted, while it was the man's sphere of work that was impacted. This is our sphere. Why? Because according to God's design, it is the man who is called to shoulder the primary responsibility of provision through work.
[00:31:59] John MacArthur wrote something that I made note of. I'll read it to you. He wrote, so if you want your marriage to be blessed, he says, you take care of your wife.
[00:32:13] When you know she has a need, you seek to meet it.
[00:32:19] When you know she has a secret longing in her heart and it's certainly reasonable and will add to her virtue and her well being and her happiness and her ability to fulfill her role. MacArthur says, you do everything you can to meet the that need.
[00:32:37] And then he says, she is not the nurturer, excuse me, the nourisher.
[00:32:44] She is not the provider.
[00:32:47] He says, you do that, that is the man's responsibility. And if a man doesn't do that, MacArthur says, according to First Timothy 5, 8, he is denied the face and is worse than an unbeliever.
[00:33:04] Throughout Scripture, the man is always the provider. As Christ is the provider for his church, that is the key.
[00:33:18] The provider.
[00:33:22] Now, I don't know how this is landing on your heart today, but some of you feel good about yourself right now because you're like, I got a good job, I'm paying the bills, my wife doesn't need anything, my family doesn't need anything. We're taking care of things. I do what I got to do to make sure to cover our expenses and provide materially for our family. But let me just press this a little bit further.
[00:33:48] Yes, provide materially for your family, but there's, there are other elements of provision as well that we are called to provide for our wives and our family's spiritual needs.
[00:34:00] Not just physical needs, their emotional needs, their intellectual needs.
[00:34:08] Ephesians 5 tells us that we love and lead and provide by nourishing not neglecting our wives, but nourishing our wives. We wash our wives with the Word of God. That's a spiritual provision. That's a spiritual leadership.
[00:34:27] That means that we find a time in the day to nourish our wives with the Word. She has a spiritual need that we need to provide for.
[00:34:39] Just as Christ washes the church with the Word, husbands are to wash over their wives with the Word to allow for her sanctification to grow and to accelerate. So just think about this. Sometimes, in all of our busyness, trying to provide for our families, working, working, working, working, there's not enough time to fulfill the full extent of that provision and maybe the most important parts, providing for her spiritual needs.
[00:35:14] So a few questions. Do you provide for your wife's spiritual needs by pointing her to the Word of God on a regular basis?
[00:35:24] Do you provide for your wife's spiritual needs by taking her deep concerns to prayer with her and helping her to process some of her deepest burdens? Or is it like, I'm always in a rush, I'm always moving around, always doing important things to provide for my family. But meanwhile, our wives feel neglected.
[00:35:47] Spiritual provision, emotional provision.
[00:35:53] I wonder if there's any husband in the room that's heard the following phrase, I feel like I'm alone.
[00:36:03] You heard that from your wife before?
[00:36:08] Or I feel like you're never here.
[00:36:13] Or I feel like when you're here, you're not present.
[00:36:18] I feel like there's no right time to discuss the things that are burdening my heart.
[00:36:28] Men, it's our responsibility. We are designed to lead.
[00:36:32] We're designed to provide, provide materially, provide spiritually, provide emotionally.
[00:36:39] And one of the ways we lead is we make space for those moments where we can nourish our wives and provide for their emotional needs as well as their spiritual needs and their physical needs. We see all of this in Ephesians 5, that Jesus Christ nourishes his church and cares for his church and sanctifies his church and serves his church in the same way, husbands, we are to be with our wives. So what, every husband must be a leader, a provider.
[00:37:22] Finally, this what every husband must be.
[00:37:27] Thirdly, a protector.
[00:37:30] A Protector.
[00:37:33] In verse 15 of Genesis chapter 2, the words work and keep.
[00:37:38] It can also be translated serve and guard in the original Hebrew.
[00:37:45] And as part of his leadership in the garden, Adam's task involved not only providing, but protecting, protecting the garden from intruders.
[00:38:00] And one of the most obvious biological differences between men and women is that men have more muscle mass than women. I Mean, this is just seen in our biology.
[00:38:10] Men have more muscle mass. Men are stronger. This just alludes to the fact that how God has made us, even physiologically, biologically, physically, it demonstrates our design to protect.
[00:38:25] And so some of you know, like, if an intruder comes through your home, you're not going to go and hide behind your wife, are you?
[00:38:33] I hope not. I hope none of you are sitting there like, oh, I don't know, I'm not sure what I do. I hope you're like, no, I'm getting in front of her because I'm stronger than her. I'm bigger than her.
[00:38:45] This is my job. Right?
[00:38:48] But again, there are other elements of protection.
[00:38:54] Adam failed in the garden to protect his wife.
[00:38:59] And it wasn't a matter of physical protection. It was primarily a matter of spiritual protection.
[00:39:05] What was Adam doing when the serpent is there slithering, talking to his wife?
[00:39:12] What was he doing?
[00:39:14] I mean, Adam should have stepped in front of his wife. He should have said, honey, you stand here. In fact, you go over there, and he would have looked that serpent in the face and grabbed that serpent by the tail and swung that serpent around and flung it out of the walls of the garden. That's what he should have done.
[00:39:33] But he didn't do that.
[00:39:35] Adam's failure was a fundamental failure to protect his wife from the deception of the devil.
[00:39:48] And so while most of us will say, yeah, if an intruder comes in my home, I'm going to grab my baseball bat or whatever it is I have, and I'm going to get in the way of my wife, this guy's going to regret ever entering in my home. A lot of us will say that.
[00:39:59] But do we truly understand the vision of protection?
[00:40:07] Protection?
[00:40:09] Protecting means that we don't leave our kids unattended with iPads in their hands for hours and hours just so we can have some downtime, because that's very dangerous for our children.
[00:40:28] I think we all know this. But let. Just, just, just in case you don't know this, brothers, the Internet is a very dangerous place for anyone, and particularly for our children.
[00:40:44] Doesn't mean it can't be redeemed. I'm not condemning the use of the Internet. You hear what I'm saying, though? Think you understand what I'm saying?
[00:40:53] That means that we don't ignore our wives when they're distraught and struggling to resist one of Satan's lies.
[00:41:02] In their hearts, our wives struggle with the lies of the devil, the temptations of the evil one. Men have their own temptations. Women have their Own temptations. But when our wife is struggling to believe a lie. I'm not enough, or I'm not good enough or I'm inadequate or whatever it is, the lie that she's believing. My identity is wrapped up in how well I do in my cooking or my work or whatever. Whatever the lie is she's believing. Are we sitting there like, oh, she's got to get over that. I got to go watch the game.
[00:41:32] Or are we protecting her?
[00:41:35] Are we shielding? See, in that moment, Satan's lying to her.
[00:41:39] And in that moment, we have a task to protect her, to get down, sit down on the couch with her, say, honey, come. Let's let the word of God wash over us. Our identity is not in what we do. Our identity. He's in Jesus Christ.
[00:41:51] Okay, I understand some things went wrong with the kids today. But that's not your identity, loved one. It's not your identity, precious wife. That's not who you are. Let's let the word of God wash over us. Protect her from the lies of the devil. Because he's lying.
[00:42:05] That's what he's been doing from the beginning.
[00:42:09] That means that we lead the way in guarding the messaging and the worldview that's being cultivated in our homes. This is huge.
[00:42:20] Worldview formation is huge.
[00:42:24] And if we as men, as husbands, don't lead the way, and to protect our families and our wives from the intruding, the invading, the satanic worldviews that are bombarding us every single day, if we don't step in, our families are being discipled. The question is, who are they being discipled by and what are they being discipled into?
[00:42:54] I know, brothers, this feels like a lot.
[00:42:58] And I want you to hear my heart as I say these things. I'm preaching to myself.
[00:43:04] I am preaching to myself because I know there are too many days where this preacher, this pastor, comes home from a long day of ministry, a long day of doing God's work. And all this pastor wants to do in his flesh is lay down and not attend to his wife.
[00:43:27] And so we are leaders, we are providers, we are protectors.
[00:43:37] And I pray that we could catch a vision for the kind of protection that goes beyond physical protection. Yes, of course. If someone threatens your wife or your family, you are her defender. You are their defender. You are their protector. Yes, but protection is much broader than just physical protection.
[00:43:56] Oh, man. What would happen in churches everywhere if men would say, I'm going to lead, I'm going to provide. I'm going to protect, I'm Going to cultivate a biblical worldview in my home and with my wife. I'm going to cultivate these things. I'm going to. I'm not going to leave it to my pastor, although he has a big role and the church has a big role. I'm not going to leave it to them. I have a part. I have an important part. I have a significant, significant part. I have an instrumental part. I'm going to take up the mantle in my home. I tell you, I. Can I suggest to you that if every man in every church did this, we would see a revival in our land.
[00:44:32] But too often, we're taken to passivity, passivity.
[00:44:39] And so leader, provider, protector. That's what every husband has been designed by God to be. And as I close, I'm going to leave you with just two practical exhortations to help you to grow as a leader, provider, protector. Again, there's so many things that we can say about these things. I'm just going to give you two practical exhortations to help you if you want to grow as a leader, provider, protector. Here's some fundamental things. Number one. First, we have to reject the lies of the culture.
[00:45:12] Okay?
[00:45:14] You have to reject the lies of the culture. You have to put everything you're hearing through the filter of God's word. And whatever does not accord with God's word, no matter the cost, you must reject it. And you must stand at the door of your house as Pastor Robbie so wonderfully illustrated, Stand at the door of your house and say, that's not coming in here. No matter what people think about you, no matter how much people look at you, say, you're being a little extreme. That's a little weird. That's a little odd. What are you talking extremist? This? Fundamentalist? This? No, no. You stand at the door of your house and you say, I put this through the test. This doesn't accord with God's word. It's not coming in here.
[00:45:50] Okay?
[00:45:52] But it takes hard work to identify the lies of the culture.
[00:45:59] You can't just assume anymore.
[00:46:03] You have to do the hard work of identifying what accords with scripture versus what is a lie from Satan and infiltrating our culture. All right? So reject the lies of the culture. That's huge. And then second exhortation is this.
[00:46:18] Put away passivity.
[00:46:23] Put it away once and for all. Put it to death every single day. I love how Pastor Robbie talked about this this morning. Adam's problem in the garden, he was passive.
[00:46:39] I just. Just consider the scene can just consider for a moment, even in your own life, like you're in the mall, you're in a Starbucks with your wife or something, and. And some sneaky person comes up to her and starts whispering, whispering her something in her ear. What are you gonna do?
[00:46:55] Right?
[00:46:57] We're not going to be passive in that moment, right? I mean, when you look at the illustration, it kind of brings it more. Brings it more to home, right?
[00:47:05] But Adam's greatest problem was he was passive.
[00:47:08] Who knows what he was doing. He was admiring some other tree. He was, I don't know, sowing seeds in the ground. I don't know what he was doing. He was doing something, but he wasn't doing the main thing he was supposed to be doing. Passivity. Passivity is the doorway, and once it's opened, it leads to destruction.
[00:47:30] So consider the areas of your life and marriage where you have a temptation and tendency to be passive.
[00:47:38] We all have different areas.
[00:47:40] Some of us maybe are more passive when it comes to spiritual leadership in the home for whatever reason.
[00:47:49] Some of us are more passive when it comes to providing for the home. We're just kind of taking it easy, going with the flow. We just have enough. We have enough. Meanwhile, your wife is worried. She doesn't feel secure. We're passive about it.
[00:48:04] Just a million ways we could be passive.
[00:48:08] But passivity is the key that opens the door to destruction.
[00:48:13] Again, imagine in your home if you would put on the intentionality of Jesus Christ now. He came to us to die on the cross, to be raised three days later.
[00:48:26] That didn't just happen.
[00:48:28] It was an intentional plan from the before the foundations of the earth. And we are to lead and provide and protect like Jesus Christ. That means we're not passive men. We are proactive. We are intentional.
[00:48:42] All of this with God's help and God's strength. Let me just end with this. From David Mathis.
[00:48:49] David Mathis wrote this. He wrote, lead, protect and provide.
[00:48:57] Masculinity is more than these but not less.
[00:49:03] He says this headship is not one of privilege, this love, not one of ease.
[00:49:10] It is not the position of one being waited on hand and foot, but of one stooping to his knees to wash her feet and shoulder the crossbeam on the way to Calvary.
[00:49:27] While we are called to shoulder the mantle of primary provider. Humanly speaking, listen, we are not the final provider.
[00:49:39] God is the great provider.
[00:49:45] And so if you're here today and maybe at the end of this, you feel maybe a little discouraged, maybe a little bit like, oh, man, I'M I feel deflated.
[00:49:56] Let me.
[00:49:57] Let me encourage you.
[00:50:00] None of this leadership provision, protection gets done in the strength of a man.
[00:50:08] But we look to the greatest leader, the greatest protector, the greatest provider.
[00:50:15] And as we abide in him every single day, you will see the power of the Holy Spirit through your abiding relationship with him, the life of Christ being lived in you and through you to do things you never thought you could accomplish with, with your wife, with your children, in your home, in his strength, for his glory. That's what we want. And that's what I want to leave you with. Don't leave here wringing your hand saying, I gotta do better, I gotta try harder. That's not what we want. We want you to leave here saying, I am gonna devote myself to abiding in Jesus Christ like never before. And I'm gonna take these principles and I'm gonna live them out in his strength. And he will do the things that only he can do in my life and in my marriage. Amen.
[00:51:03] Amen. All right, well, why don't we turn to him one last time and pray? And I'm going to pray this for all of you.
[00:51:09] That God, by His help, would strengthen us, Father, in heaven. Just taking a moment right now to pray because we need you and we love you.
[00:51:18] And Father, it's true. Humanly speaking, we can't really do these things.
[00:51:23] But we need the power of God. We need the example of Jesus.
[00:51:27] We thank you for the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit.
[00:51:32] Father, I pray right now for the brothers in this room, and I pray intentionally for those in this room that are discouraged in their marriages, that you would help them just to take what they've heard and what they're gathering from this men's conference and go with greater dependence on the Lord and faith to believe you will change things in their homes.
[00:51:53] For those that have identified areas in their lives where they're falling short, I pray that they know there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus, us, but that they would allow the life of Jesus Christ to be lived in them and through them in their home.
[00:52:09] And I pray, Lord, I pray. I'm joining my prayer with many to say, would you take a generation of men?
[00:52:19] Would you cause us to be the leaders, providers, protectors that you have designed us to be?
[00:52:25] And would you let our marriages reflect this beautiful gospel?
[00:52:29] And would you bring a revival to our nation?
[00:52:34] We believe it starts with the men.
[00:52:38] So give us what we need to be what you've designed us to be.
[00:52:43] In Jesus name we pray.
[00:52:46] If you agree, you can say amen.
[00:52:48] Amen. Amen. Thank you, brothers. Good to be together. Amen.
[00:52:55] Wonderful.
